I was in ASDA today with 2 trolleys of booze and all my shopping,
when a little old lady got behind me in the queue
she only had a pint of milk, so I said is that all you have got love
she said yes
so I did the descent thing and said,if I were you I,d fuck off to another till
as I,m gonna be ages.

my wife said to me I wish I had bigger tits
paddy said try rubbing paper between them
the wife said do you think that will work
paddy said well it did for your arse

i was in my bedroom piping my next door neighbours 18 year old daughter sunbathing topless so I decided to have a quite moment to myself but I turned around and the wife was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed watching me is she a pervert?

shout out to my parents for not using a condom and creating a fucking legend

mike leahey and mick murphy had a day out together at the Cheltenham races
mike whispered to mick, do you want the winner of the next race
mick replied no thanks I,ve only got a small garden

hahahhaaaa

BBC radio Birmingham wishes to make it clear that Buzz Lightyear and his friends are all safe and well,
The cave rescue operation we reported on recently is in Thailand not Toyland.

mick and tim went fishing on a boat in the Mersey but it was a hot day and they both fell asleep in the boat ,when they woke up they had drifted towards an island of the coast of Borneo they got ashore but
were captured by natives the chief said you must pass a test or we will kill you, I want you to go out and collect a well known fruit from the jungle,of they both went ,Tim returned an hour later with a bunch of
grapes the chief said bend over while we stick these grapes up your arse if you laugh we will kill you, the chief was about to push the last grape up his hoop and tim burst out laughing the chief said we only had one left to push why did you laugh, Tim said I could not help it here comes Mick over the hill with a bunch of coconuts

Hahahahaha!

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